fear

afraid

and far away

we watch life pass

right in front of our eyes

unable to patch up the past

we live with holes

in our shoes

in our pockets

in our hearts

a fixated focus on forgetting

tells the mind memory is more than just remembering

it is feeling

it is reliving and sitting upright

at all times

walking

wears down worries

but when you are already worn

its hard to put up with the wind

this weather

has no end

it begins

and begins

and i wonder will it ever end

again we ask

questions we dont want the answers to

afraid

so we refuse to follow

any direction other than down

the sea level

has seen you

beneath its surface

submerged like a coral reef

catching waves of grief

all other options

are cop outs

surrounded by decisions

we pick none

just sit and stare at the sun

afraid

we keep watching

life and love

a leisure's gaze tells us to stay

behind the chained fence

afraid to change and actually mean it

i wonder when this will ever end

messy

your mind is messy
a maze
thoughts get lost
in themselves
thinking with no direction
is bad for the heart
its hard
to find your way back
when back
is bad
a past
you are trying to shake
instead of share with the world
like scars on elbows
there is nothing left to show
so we shout
hoping the sound
will make or break
im sorry
but it wont
i have tried similar tactics
no use
so we toss and turn
troubled youth
ruffling through
thoughts we wish didn't exist
i too am a mess
you just can't see it

show me your god

tell me more of your god

when you look for him does he look back

cause i can feel eyes on my forearms

watching my wrists water and i wonder

if the weight of its stare is the same as yours

in the back of my mind i am always searching

eyes open for a destination other than this earth

looking both ways

for one way

either way

tell me your story

write it on my eyelids so sleeping is like reading

and reading is just another pair of lungs breathing

so share your air with me

let your god be my god and guide me

take me back

all the way home

anything will do

you can find me underneath your tongue

right between unsaid words and unheard whispers

the glistening taste of my name

follows the flame of your throat as you swallow it whole

I haven’t seen your lips in a while

with a smile to seal my sore wounds

you carry me through battle grounds

a grain of salt in your pocket

to protect the blood from soiling the mood

how good it feels to be spoken

instead of being broken

like so many times before

I have gotten too used to these self inflicted bruises

the ones i never had a say in choosing

simply lost my voice by losing my way

and maybe thats why you never have anything to say

if not today,

then maybe the next

I love Alex Klunk

That’s all I have to say about that

day 5

either your mouth is sleeping
or you don't care enough
to leave any words
perhaps
none of this is worth it
but I am learning
that when hope
is on the other side of the world
it's going to take
more than a sturdy fist
to get the girl
I got it
it's locked in
but my thoughts
won't box themselves up
so they go everywhere
just trying to find where you are
but its hard
when you are so sure there
is nothing I can do to prove
that love is enough
but it is
if you just listen
to your heart beat's rhythm
then maybe it can get the message across

nothing seems to work
not my words
they lost their worth long ago
if my arms show anything
its that they are slipping out their sockets
and it's possible
that they could
burst into a summer evening
to even the odds of you leaving
with the sun
some say
we have stayed long enough
and maybe they're right
or maybe,
our hearts have tried leaving
but with more magic than reason
they came back
precise as fact
I want this to last
past what we thought possible

day 4

i think i'm hearing things
a cold whisper
perhaps i imagine your lips are in the air
there to speak to me
but on the other side of this town
not a sound is being made
between you
and between me
I am beating my chest with fists
and heavy wrists
they won't let you go
I don't want them to
but the silence reminds me
of previous days where darkness
carried into my dreams
and anything was impossible to be seen
so I folded my beliefs into my sheets
and stopped sleeping altogether
I don't know what I'm going to do
I carry you
to all the places I pass through
its dangerous
hanging onto you the way I do
but I have to
so say anything
but goodbye
that word melts my sky and
turns the ground into graveyards
I can't go into this soil
when my heart is still beating
blood still boiling
for you
all this time
i'm not fine i say
but the words pass you by
only to reach the silence
on the other side

tjb

come on say something
anything
will stop these thoughts
from running back and forth
in a game of tag
where your name touches my mind
and then it shoots across my spine
and back into my eyes
I just need some words
something worth your time
I know its easier
to turn shoulders and chances away
but the science behind our love
does not exist yet
it can't
it is anything but simple
So please would you grip
my tumbling mind
with the hand that used to sleep with mine
You'd rather increase the gap
so the distance cannot be bridged between
our I miss you's but I wish you
would look into my eyes
and see that the boy behind them is no longer there
his mistakes are in the sour air
that sits somewher else
help me
melt into the man I need to be
by needing me back
please,
bring your voice back into my room
so I can water my soul
with your tongue and my walls
can stop waiting for somebody to call them worthy
I am worried
that the absence of my touch
will construct this belief
that we would be better off
without each other
but I would rather
smother my face with demons
than to believe there is any good in you leaving
darling
they say
when the dark is there
why not spark a flare
to stare the shadows down
I sound so pathetic in my plea
but I have said this before
so just let me say it again
my skin is merely pinned to my bones
when you are not here
to hold it up
so sturdy and strong
I was wrong
for tucking the past into an unprotected pocket
but I won't pretend
that the end of this all is good for us both
I won't
I can't
I will stand in the middle of the ocean
half-way between coast guards and swimming sharks
and proclaim my pursuit
in removing your doubt and fear
I feel,
it's the only thing I can do

waiting

the feeling is mutual
we just don't know it yet
it hangs
right between our fingers
but our palms are mouths
full of promises,
closed and kept to themselves
i wonder
if any of this will change
will the possibility of starting over
snap into reality
or are we really just alone
separated by an invisible window of uncertainty
certainly,
we can do more
than just wish
our thoughts would come off of the floor
and stand up
because we certainly won't
will we?
afraid the feeling might be a little too mutual we
put our mouth on mute
and it's too soon
to break the silence
so we wait
and I wonder
will we ever stop

aye che wa wa

I am sure the shade is much cooler
than the blazing sun
but I would rather run
into the cool breeze your legs leave
when they walk right past me
passively pulling my lungs
to the surface
because the air flow was getting worse
at every shoulder you should have turned in my direction
did you think,
you could lessen my desire by smiling?
my wishbones
exploded into a million arrows
all pointing towards you
only a fool would not follow
and not borrow the sun
so that he does not run out of time
I have run into mines
only to come out empty handed
but this time
I grabbed a diamond
the kind i could not find
anywhere else except in your eyes
god
must have been much more kind
when he had you in his mind
divine
is a bible shy of your holy water dimples
they are undiscovered temples
where my knees touch ground
the same way flowers do
flavoring the soil with precious roots
so full
of life
life is
full with
all that
you are
I wonder
how far could we run
before the sun sees
we stole the sky

im sorry

okay
so no words can make
the night safe
not anymore
there is a sore
where my heart
and you used to be
both are empty
endlessly looking for
a stair case
to place its hopes on
so they may go up
and over the shoulders
that won't ever come back
yours
are just like they were in my dreams
and all the days before
I have been meaning
to tear down the city
because the streets won't lead me to you
and since the sidewalks
don't talk or sound like you
there is nothing more for me to do
than sit
in silence
in solitude
with full proof plan to lose myself
in the carpet
that can barely fit my regret
and I get
that my name left your lips
the same time this bomb hit
but I can't just give it all back
it isn't that simple
the moon must have made me a mad man
because I can't stand these stars
looking back at me
with their backwards belief that
less is more
so they go as far as they can
leaving what light they have
just beyond our hands
just like you
i cannot touch or feel
or reach you anymore
i am mostly broken
with a spare spot still hoping
for a miracle to hold it
the way we used to hold each other
so this cycle will perpetuate itself
and my cells would stick to yours
just how they used to
I am losing you
along with my air
and my hair that isn't thick enough
to block my thoughts
its just not that easy
leaving
when believing is the only thing
keeping
me
whole

i need these

alex murdoch- orange sky
pilate-fall down
beirut
otis redding- white christmas
explosions in the sky
angus and julia stone- big jet plane
matt costa- never looking back
six parts seven- in a late style of fire
coldplay-strawberry swing
freelance whales- 1st generator floor
morning benders- excuses
sam amidon- wedding dress

my bed

my bed,
doesn't dream like it used to
the night,
must have fell onto its frame
deadly like regret,
i can't even sleep anymore
not without waking
in the middle of a world
where fortune doesn't fit in the atlas
the fastest prayers
get caught in the electric lines
nothing is quite like it used to
burdens become formalities
to tragedy,
trained with the same intensity of an assassin
it destroys
the deepest dreams without even asking
everything around us,
crashes down so easily
as if blood were not strong enough bricks
and sacrifice were as simple as smiling
the truth doesn't stand like it used to
perhaps because it has been broken
too many times to remember
a broken kite
surrenders its strings
because the wind treats it
like we treat the breeze
our toxic touch
clings to the air
it is impossible to rest like before
in this bed
that cringes instead of climbs
crumbles instead of binds
folds instead of diving head first
into the possibilities of progress
this mattress
molds its edges into a matchbox mayhem
where flames are on finger tips
and dreams drink cans of gasoline
to break free from the deserts they dig through
this bed doesn't dream like it used to
and my eyes,
wish they could sleep
but the night,
doesn't work like that it says
its been said,
the world will come to an end
when the sky opens like hands
and grabs the ground up
because walking has never suited
these people
my bed doesn't dream like it used to
I guess it's waiting for you to notice

sleep easy

when your shoulders said goodbye
the ground,
turned itself inside out
so the dirt could
look in you the eye
I stood
not sure if the pain
was pure or passive
you passed me by
like communion's cup,
the wine didn't touch my lips
I wasn't worthy anymore
in my bones,
there are just broken promises
so fighting
is like dying,
but I dug my own grave
and the sky?
all it ever does is weep
as if the stars were on its knees
see, they too were wrong
their patterns were too tricky to master
I couldn't follow their orbit
I am lost,
more now than ever, I am sure of it
you didn't care for my apology
it cracked,
like a painting no one ever looked at anymore
love doesn't fit like jeans,
the seams don't get worn out
but my pockets
were not deep enough
to blind
those demons whose search for blood
led them straight to my door
the evidence,
creaks under the floor board
can you hear me?
I am asking for your hand
in the form of a candle
but the wind behind your back
blew the blue flame black
the silence
stood like a tombstone,
with no flowers to hug
what was already gone
you,
said goodbye in the middle of the night
I must have been dreaming or dying
I can't tell the difference anymore

i am certain

i am certain this is it
the feeling
reeling in
my bones
is sure to have some rules of its own
the pieces
are seeping so seamlessly
into the whole
this stone
is rolling as it should
the could be
has already been
it happens
like that
between blinks
faster than though thanks
can reload
i am certain now
that all the hours
and days
have been repayed
in ways i cannot change
everything
inside of me
is falling out
and onto the streets
for everyone to see
for everyone
to feel it with me
i cannot be more certain
about the curtains
raising
separating
in two
for the show to continue
this is it
if it is not now
then it is never
i am certain this time
is unlike any other
all bets are off
i am ready
to take off
and take it back
take it for me
and take it for lack
of taking
when this mind
was all but broken
but it has been reopened
chosen
etched in bold
against the cold night sky
i am certain this time
this time
i am right

vampire weekend

wait for the sun to set
and saturday to come
it is then
they come out to play
this
vampire weekend
will lead you into
sounds that feed off of you
teeth bite deep
into your soul
turning your ears
to a rolling stone
back into a vibe
your hips
can stick to
and heart will skip to
in the heat
they are cooling
turning steam back into water
falling under your hands
they hit
like this
and like that
they are fact
intact
always in the back of your mind
such music
should not be so
complete
so worthy of repeat
but on the weekends
their teeth are as sweet
as the sounds
that come out of their finger tips
and if the night does not end with them
then it never began
to begin with

you say

you say,
all of this
as if it were
the same thing I was thinking
i say
you are wrong
it wont be long
until you see that too
how many breaths
must i lose
before you choose
truth over fiction
belief or leaving
i will
feed you meals of faith
three times a day
and even more
whatever it takes
i would rather break
me than you
neither if i had to choose
the rules
are ridiculed
pulled from gardens
with rotten dirt
you say all this
with so much certainty
as if you were sure of it
nothing could swerve your mind
but my might
is fire
full of promise
i will pour into you
honest to god
i am done with rolling the dice
you cannot look
into my eyes
without dropping your hands to the side
too angry to even ask why
i wont even ask why
but i know
in the back of your mind
there is that flower
the one we both watered
the one night in autumn
when it was all about us
you say
all these things
but i do not care
the air is only ours
we don't have to share
so i breathe it all in
little by little
this could all be so simple
but even the sun sets
and the darkness extends
into our hearts
we either grow
together
or apart

even then

tomorrow
today
yesterday and all the days
that have not yet
been slept through
i want to share them with you
when the sun sets
and we cannot get past
the darkness
even then
i want them with you
long enough
to stuff the hallways
with picture frames
full of exchanged smiles
and unfinished romance
we could roam
around
this town
and the next
create city limits
wherever our desire exits

as far forward
as our words can extend
and however long
our arms can reach
is where i want to be
with you, too

battles

if my words were water
you would rather pass the cup
than give in to your thirst
get the liquid from elsewhere
you are not hearing what I have to say
see through promises
you say
no back bone
to call my own
it is in your hands
close to being forgotten
my breath is a rotten breeze
you dodge it blowing you back into my arms
stepping away
with certainty that doesnt not leave you
you left me
empty handed
branded with bruises
i have no one to blame but myself
i could polish it all
in a gold finish
but you would see through the tint
and throw it in the dirt
its worth is not worthy of your lips
i just want my kiss to mean something
but every word i utter
sputters out
feet first
running towards you
for you
but they fall
right in front of you
have you forgotten
that these words come
from the same lips you once kissed?

you and me

our language is sky
which means
our mouth must be earth
a fixed orbit
we clash
crash against one another
putting arms forth
so the stars will not fall

we love in a world
that is too small
for us both

t-shirt

in the collar of my shirts
we exist
in the day to day exchange
between
clothes and sunshine
i can feel you everywhere
inside of me
around my neck
it is impossible not to
together we live
in the cotton castles
threaded through my skin
over my shoulders
and up the walls
every color
strikes a different chord
there are canvases in
each sleeve
the love we share
illustrates poetry
with purity
we are poised
and passionate
never one to let
desire pass us by
i throw my shirt
over my back
only to feel you
wrapped around me
warm in this winter season
i found my favorite shirt
the one with a dirt stain
and faded blue shade of sky
but it reminds me of your eyes
at its side i can feel your arms
arched upwards
two empty arcs
i fill back up with
fiber promises
stitched at my belly
against the fabric
i can smell your fingers
lingering like lint
and into the drier we go
renewed once more

hurry up already

these days are metal
heavy iron
melting all at once
its impossible to walk
time watches on a bench
it sits
eating its apple
peeling back the skin
the way seconds do
looking for you at the end of the hour
i will scour seas for your smile
but it is clocks away
i can hardly stop myself
from diving headfirst into the notes
you wrote me
the poetry i showed you
everything sticks
in the cage of my ribs
i place my wishes
sometimes hidden
sometimes sticking straight out
but when opened
they all look like you
perhaps not in shape
and not even in size
but the coral reef glow of your eyes
rises as i do
when i breathe you into me
the sun is stretched
across its shoulders
every shadow merges together
the blackness swallows any hope
of time coming by
i lost count
actually i stopped
because i kept watching the clock
kick each second
and tug every hour
but it all was a sour sight
and the days were unbeatable
you are unreachable
in a land where my wishes get lost
in the palms of your hands

i am catching ghosts of
your eyelashes
they flutter with passion
they were the last to see you
i saw you in the back of my mind
with a cherry smile
aimed right at my heart
you shot dead on
and now i keep looking at the sky
trying to stare a cloud down
into my fingers
fling it across the sea
and into your pocket
so you can feel my touch
in whatever sky you walk under
and that the thunder is merely
a cry of desire
and the lightning soon after
is the laughter of your belly
running faster than my fears can
possibly imagine
it catches me in the middle of the road
and takes me back home
with you there to hold
me
holding you back
why won't the ground listen
to the words i give it
the gardens are falling apart
without your light to
give them life
the stem in my throat
doesn't know what its like
there are petals with your name
in its veins
but i can barely speak
when you are weeks away
so i keep my lips to myself
and water my mouth
with the sound of your voice

heavy

i have given much more thought to it all
than my poems show
the words are short a syllable
i have not yet filled this up
with what spills out of me
arms like cups
the blood pours
but it is never enough
when it touches the air
it scares the truth away
in fear of fading too soon
there is still so much room
i have not moved through
the waterfalls long enough
to soak my heart dry
there are still handfuls of memories
to melt into the page

every day i am overloaded
with shoulders burdened
and burned from previous furnaces
still flashing their flames
and i try to escape
but it all stays here
trapped
outlasting
i cannot look past it,
my mind is its own master
but it still won't move fast enough
to get it all down
and make sense with sentences
there are man-made mountains
mounted by thick as brick thoughts
and all i want is for them to fall
crash and crawl out of my head
and onto this page instead
but what i possess is too heavy
to release
underneath the sight you see
lies a train tracing its tracks
back to yesterday
trying to take a little less
off its plate
i wait,
wasting my time
trying to find the reason why
i cannot unwind
without coming back to this very same spot
i guess
some thoughts aren't meant to think for themselvese

run

run with me
i do not care where
the when is now
with the wind
and into places we have never been
faster than you can imagine
lets go until there is no further limit to reach
together we will speak
in a language only known as speed
swift
quick
step with purpose
when tomorrow comes
it will all be worth it
stretch every step
until the next is larger than the rest
stay light
stay heavy
anchor down when you are good and ready
forget breathing
we do not need it
at this rate
lungs are merely baggage
to drag us down
but we will run around it
faster than the speed of sound
i cannot here the music until i run through it
the air crashes
blasts against me
the wind leaves a whiplash
that will last for weeks
but that will not stop
my feet from following footsteps before
both you and I
the night tries to hold us back
but we break through the crack of dawn
and run
all day long
anywhere but here
we cannot stay steady
but run through the reflections in the mirror
going and going
rowing our arms through rivers of air
never slowing down
until we find what we are looking for
i could run for days
but i need you here
at my side
right by my movements
it isn't the same
if you are beyond my arms calling

darling
run with me
the where does not matter
our footsteps will run together
come out as one single sound
the air is not there
no not anymore
we have moved past it
into a world
where running is magic
and our legs have become spells
spent on souls whose bodies dwell still
spilling what speed we have left
into their feeble bones until
they turn to stone and
can find their way home
the same way we once did

prom night

the night was good as gold
you could have
made bricks fall apart
and follow you down the boulevard
with the smile you smoked with
the pieces fell together
in place
fitting with one another
the sun could not smile without spitting fire
you did that
the world stopped caring
the air became still
until you inhaled its purity
we held hands
without knowing
time was much slower
behind the glow in your eyes
every giggle
spilled onto my shirt
but i did not mind the mess
the end of your dress
nearly cut me in two
legs shouldn't be so heavenly

the night could not end
for we would not let it
it led us into each other
kiss after kiss
lips landed right in the middle of my existence
the sun watched from afar
behind the moon it sat
similar to the stars
we followed its shine
until morning came
we would never be the same
i could not pinpot your purity
it was everywhere around me
surrounding my heaves
each breath was less than the one before
my lungs were doors
broken latches lacked the capacity
to hold you off
in you came
washed over the veins
i found you in
looking back
that night was as good as gold

rest

rest
for it has been days since you last have
your head is heavy
eyes look like ghosts
those shoulders are shoveling dreams
sleep will not come to them
the children have seen you
pass here before
they tell stories in secrecy
placing whispers beneath stones
they too wonder
why are you here?

the sun cannot set
until you do friend
blow your doubt into dust
how can you trust
if you trudge through mountains alone
there is a home for you
arms are awaiting your arrival
they are open
wide like horizon forearms
going and going
you keep going and going
but i see the ashes
scattered over eyelids
times from before now live in your cheekbone
there are so many stories
that haven't been told
won't you rest
make a bed in the sky
sleep in the air
i do not care
just fold your bones back

rest,
for it has been days since you last have
i can see your history hiding
fears combining into single breaths
a heavy head won't last much longer
i am washing rivers clean
so you may sleep at ease
pull the currants to cover your skin
and dream the lovliest of dreams
sunset follower

inside of love

on the inside of love
the walls are much warmer
there are chandeliers
shifting between hands
light can be carried on the
rocks of forearms
looking around,
there are shapes and shadows
that look like you
i can feel the breath you left
it swirls around where you should be
with you there,
i am home
sleeping on the softest of stones
love looks like you did last night
on the inside
I can see everything
in perfect clarity
crystal clear visions
roam above my head
i know that this is real
the touch
the feel
the laugh
on the inside of love
there are many smiles
but the one that belongs to you
is the one that belongs to me
here,
i can unwind
with no worries or weights
to weigh me down
you are the reson
the heat in the sun
that runs along my back
shaking me down
i cannot remember what anything feels like without you
whole you kept me
entirely to yourself
we melted
slowly
on the inside of love

flashlights

flashlights can fix
what night brings
countless shadows
mix and mingle what can't be seen
with what was never there to begin with
in the darkness there are smiles
not yet attached to faces
but flashlights are dangerous glimmers
they simmer with light
bright
bold
barely visible beyond the distance
they fix what night brings
questions
too many stars to remember
against the sky
we look up
put our hands out
hoping we can hold what we cannot see
there are flashlights in the tips of our fingers
so we touch each other
hoping to unveil the curtain of darkness
in the night
all things are clear
with flashlights
fighting to keep more than themselves alive

be ready

so much poetry yet to be written. brave new voices are two weeks away from going down and it's do or die. everything must be perfected, etched in golden stone and turned into pure fire.


do or die

lips

your lips are out of sight
but still in my mind
i try to find them in my sleep
but they are miles from me
so I now i am sleep walking
towards the sea that separates both you and me
waves won't wash what I want
currents will carry me
oceans will bury me in their salt
but I will fall into their arms
until I am where you are
I just want your touch
to tell me things i have long forgotten
rotten wood could not decay
the love that lays in between my eyes
your lips are like gardens
parted at the stem
but I am growing with them
the sun is creating a new skin
i am trapped inside of it
reminded that this body is only whole
when your lips are folded
and aligned with mine

here,
I sit
softly kissing the pictures
you are still smiling in
trying to swallow the shadows
that are no longer here
I would crumble mountains
into stepping stones
and sew the cracks between our worlds
so that both me and you
would no longer be two,
but one

there

you are not here really
your legs may touch ground
the sounds may seem all so familiar
but your mind is elsewhere
somewhere near the moon and yesterday
all the atoms are array
the limbs are looser than usual
nothing is heavy enough
it all goes up
landing on some distant rock
where we know nothing of
lost in a make believe shadow
everything is so different
now that we have found
that we are not really here
merely existing in mirrors
that have been merged with dreams
that have always been out of our reach

we are not here
nor there
nor anywhere
simply moving along
in worlds where nothing is certain
i am certain of it now
the ground cannot take
what we cannot give
we are living outside of our bodies
none of this belongs to me
or you

a pair of hands is writing this all down
in the sand and in the air
we are mere verbs in someone else's wordplay
what we feel is a million world's away
we are not really here
what happens will merely extend into another existence
that we have not yet witnessed
a piece of us is missing
floating along
here and there
near somewhere I am sure will find us
in due time
in due time

color me

behind the walls
there are colors that haven't been painted yet
hues and tints only exist
in unfinished paint brushes
the room is so simple without imagination
blood has not been shed
in the form of art
these walls cannot live
if they are not alive
the eyes are looking for something
that was never there to begin with
doors are being closed
because there is nothing to welcome them
crayons are crying
and canvases are playing I spy
with ceilings
the floorboards are bored with white shadows
these walls are smaller
when there is nothing but hollow beings beneath them
crack a child's imagination
spill it with purpose
fill this empty room with something
anything
these walls
just want to be heard

july 3

today is my mother's birthday.
the clouds can open up and smile because without her there is no me. simple science.
a day to be enjoyed and smiled with.

happy birthday mommy

always your babycakes

away

when you are not here
neither am I

the sky goes away
resigns its post as gatekeeper
and nothing is pure anymore
the seconds are leading to timeless ticks
none of it matters
when your shadow is out of sight
there are never enough letters
to replace your smile
every poem is a line too short
and a word too small
to possibly replace your laugh

i look at doors
and wait
hoping the hinges will hear my wishes
and open on up with you
on the other side
but it does not move an inch
my wrists can not function
when my arms are boycotting
stopping until they can hold you
i do not know what to do
there are moments
where I am lost,
caught between you and myself
battling with what is there and what is not
i am hoping you will come to me
either in a dream
or in a poem
better yet, just come home
I will bury you in kisses
embrace you like water
and lay with you they way children do
the rain is not rain
it is liquid pain
guzzled by all living things
they too miss you
together we kneel
press surface to palm
and possess enough strength for another day to go by
another day where you are not here
i stare into the mirror
so that maybe the reflection
will see what is missing
and bring you back
to me

grr

my belly rumbles
a monster i never met sleeps there
he roars
he storms
the vibrations grow
the feeling is greater than imaginations can create
an angry old man stomps around in there
he has not been silent in a while
I cannot sleep
while he is angry
somebody,
make him smile

you are still you

there are some pens that just don't write anymore
the ink is old,
the ballpoint flow is
gone
given up
stuck in its own predicament
the paper squeezes tears from the margin
but the pen just sits
silent
eyes unopened
no longer hoping
all words have been written
there are no more stories to tell
the pen just sits
dormant
snoring
boring
but I pick it up
cradle it in crevices
and speak its own language
it still has a friend,
willing
hoping
and still writing
a finished pen
might as well be a finished person
losing their purpose is what is worst
when there are some pens that don't write anymore
I find them
guide them back to this page
and lend them a hand so they can say what they have to
roll it off their ballpoint chest
and if they are out of breath,
let them rest on their own terms
because no pen deserves to be forgotten
and no poet or person or page should let them

wind

today began and ended in a very smooth way. simplicity is overlooked, underrated and straight up forgotten about. it's the things we forgot to appreciate that end up fading away.

the weather is windier this time of year
it blows over buildings
the sidewalks hold onto legs
the people are afraid of losing their way
the umbrellas won't stay locked
everybody's hair is a mess

the storm will not wait,
it is coming
it is here
the gardens are jumping in glee
they have forgotten what it feels like to live
they too bend in unfamiliar angles
if there be an angel
he too is grounded
giving way to this force
the city bell rings
flooding the streets with warnings pockets will
never have enough room to carry
the people are losing their heads and their briefcases
their featherweight beliefs are going everywhere
except where they should be
chaos colors the taxicabs a different yellow
the madness goes with the wind
what can you do but watch and wait?
another day, another time
all the hats have had it
they are being slapped off heads
and the hair is tangled in tangerine trees
some part of me has been blown into some part of you
together we are flowing
growing inseparably true
tomorrow is trivial when I am with you
this wind is knocking me against
what I never thought possible

barefoot bravery
what has become of my legs,
as they stand in the sandpits
and watch this wind watch them back
i am shaking because I do not know
I do not know if this wind will go back where it came
and if this earth will continue to spend around your name
but the questions don't matter
there are brothers playing football for the last time
mothers cooking summer supper
and milkshakes making their last heart melt into unbreakable beat boxes
back and forth
all the love in the world is forging with
the open arms of open men
afraid their hands are too small to hold
too small to know what has always been greater then them
this wind blows in from every direction
this time of year is always a battle
between littered streets
there are concrete hearts that refuse to be broken
regardless of what is chosen
they choose to hold on hoping
even in this wild wind
when everything has become heavy and messy
and leading to the end
whether it's where I've been or where I'll be
I see it all right in front of me
gathering here and there and everywhere
the wind will not wait
so I turn my back and unlock forgotten gates
the dust that settled is no longer giving us any trouble
all is clear,
when the wind blows
this time of year

Take that

So what if I still watch teenage drama shows. I mean, they are pertinent! real! They are timeless. Just because I don't have a chest cavity that sticks out or a thigh cavity that goes in does not mean I am beyond watching these shows.

Give me a break!

Doooooo until done

Must Must Must

pay insurance for car

pay rent for apartment

go to san antonio to see pop

write more group poems

memorize yet to be written group poems

keep working for money to pay insurance for car

keep working for money to pay rent

sell poetry CD's

buy ak-47 his moleskin

read Middlesex

read Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

read Path of Minor Planets

do laundry

change underwear by tomorrow

find a laptop and buy it

beene-beene

The natives remember faces

They see yours at morning and mine in the middle of dreams

With wisdom dispersed at the bottom of feet

the ground becomes a sacred place

walking through tested soil,

forgotten blood wakes in the arms of the warrior

and they remember him too

a brilliant mind,

whose thoughts couldn't outweigh death

they don't forget a face

ancient rituals run along with the children

and whisper things innocence will never know

I watch time sleep in their eyes

wisdom slips in the cracks of open hands

the elders look like god before god looked like himself

they tell us things life won't

ounces of advice pound into the rhythm of my heart

and the beat becomes a being of its own

stay here

A dreary wind knocks against me

the sound interrupts the flow of time

and my skin doesn't like the bruise it leaves

I try to walk around it

but my feet grow into stones

and I turn back into a little boy

the bravery those sunsets gave me go away

before the grass gives me a chance to run through its hair

the trees speak an unknown language

and I can hear the branches whistle

everything is so new and nothing is known

I stay still because moving means I am ready

but my heart has a broken gate and it isn't safe to travel today

especially today,

the girl next door saw me watching her dance

and I could not hear the music she breathed with

so I turned my back and ran into the field I had forgotten

there, I remembered what she looked like

her legs walked through my throat

where I could taste her shadows on the tip of my tongue

but I held my breath,

knowing that when I exhaled she would be gone

I opened my hands and wrote her name in the dirt

so the earth would always remember her too

Uh oh

Bananas are not good cold

Traffic Toe Jams

Driving to work this morning, I realized human beings are nothing short of good-looking robots. Functional machinery operational through specified fuel.

What's your poison?

Whatever tickles your fancy there is a needle for it, and you can inject it into your system (metaphorically and literally) as if blood and air were not the necessary requirements to living. Coffee, cigarettes, music, blueberry muffins, tv shows about midgets, vampires, food, and poetry. We're just a couple of robots getting our kicks from here and there.

People will always be just that: people. I guess there's nothing anybody can really do but to be a robot. I mean you got this guy eating Mcdees like there were willy wonka's golden ticket hidden at the bottom of the bag, this chick talking on her phone while doing her make up....and driving, and then there's this schmo who blows his cigarette smoke out of his window and into the air.
Oh I see...you don't want the smell of smoke in your car because it bothers you? Yet you continue to smoke...and put the seconhand toxins into everybody's air.

Coooooooool guy, let's high five.

Anywho, the world is a wily window with weird and whimsical occupants.



P.S.

sup blogger