day 5

either your mouth is sleeping
or you don't care enough
to leave any words
perhaps
none of this is worth it
but I am learning
that when hope
is on the other side of the world
it's going to take
more than a sturdy fist
to get the girl
I got it
it's locked in
but my thoughts
won't box themselves up
so they go everywhere
just trying to find where you are
but its hard
when you are so sure there
is nothing I can do to prove
that love is enough
but it is
if you just listen
to your heart beat's rhythm
then maybe it can get the message across

nothing seems to work
not my words
they lost their worth long ago
if my arms show anything
its that they are slipping out their sockets
and it's possible
that they could
burst into a summer evening
to even the odds of you leaving
with the sun
some say
we have stayed long enough
and maybe they're right
or maybe,
our hearts have tried leaving
but with more magic than reason
they came back
precise as fact
I want this to last
past what we thought possible

day 4

i think i'm hearing things
a cold whisper
perhaps i imagine your lips are in the air
there to speak to me
but on the other side of this town
not a sound is being made
between you
and between me
I am beating my chest with fists
and heavy wrists
they won't let you go
I don't want them to
but the silence reminds me
of previous days where darkness
carried into my dreams
and anything was impossible to be seen
so I folded my beliefs into my sheets
and stopped sleeping altogether
I don't know what I'm going to do
I carry you
to all the places I pass through
its dangerous
hanging onto you the way I do
but I have to
so say anything
but goodbye
that word melts my sky and
turns the ground into graveyards
I can't go into this soil
when my heart is still beating
blood still boiling
for you
all this time
i'm not fine i say
but the words pass you by
only to reach the silence
on the other side

tjb

come on say something
anything
will stop these thoughts
from running back and forth
in a game of tag
where your name touches my mind
and then it shoots across my spine
and back into my eyes
I just need some words
something worth your time
I know its easier
to turn shoulders and chances away
but the science behind our love
does not exist yet
it can't
it is anything but simple
So please would you grip
my tumbling mind
with the hand that used to sleep with mine
You'd rather increase the gap
so the distance cannot be bridged between
our I miss you's but I wish you
would look into my eyes
and see that the boy behind them is no longer there
his mistakes are in the sour air
that sits somewher else
help me
melt into the man I need to be
by needing me back
please,
bring your voice back into my room
so I can water my soul
with your tongue and my walls
can stop waiting for somebody to call them worthy
I am worried
that the absence of my touch
will construct this belief
that we would be better off
without each other
but I would rather
smother my face with demons
than to believe there is any good in you leaving
darling
they say
when the dark is there
why not spark a flare
to stare the shadows down
I sound so pathetic in my plea
but I have said this before
so just let me say it again
my skin is merely pinned to my bones
when you are not here
to hold it up
so sturdy and strong
I was wrong
for tucking the past into an unprotected pocket
but I won't pretend
that the end of this all is good for us both
I won't
I can't
I will stand in the middle of the ocean
half-way between coast guards and swimming sharks
and proclaim my pursuit
in removing your doubt and fear
I feel,
it's the only thing I can do

waiting

the feeling is mutual
we just don't know it yet
it hangs
right between our fingers
but our palms are mouths
full of promises,
closed and kept to themselves
i wonder
if any of this will change
will the possibility of starting over
snap into reality
or are we really just alone
separated by an invisible window of uncertainty
certainly,
we can do more
than just wish
our thoughts would come off of the floor
and stand up
because we certainly won't
will we?
afraid the feeling might be a little too mutual we
put our mouth on mute
and it's too soon
to break the silence
so we wait
and I wonder
will we ever stop

aye che wa wa

I am sure the shade is much cooler
than the blazing sun
but I would rather run
into the cool breeze your legs leave
when they walk right past me
passively pulling my lungs
to the surface
because the air flow was getting worse
at every shoulder you should have turned in my direction
did you think,
you could lessen my desire by smiling?
my wishbones
exploded into a million arrows
all pointing towards you
only a fool would not follow
and not borrow the sun
so that he does not run out of time
I have run into mines
only to come out empty handed
but this time
I grabbed a diamond
the kind i could not find
anywhere else except in your eyes
god
must have been much more kind
when he had you in his mind
divine
is a bible shy of your holy water dimples
they are undiscovered temples
where my knees touch ground
the same way flowers do
flavoring the soil with precious roots
so full
of life
life is
full with
all that
you are
I wonder
how far could we run
before the sun sees
we stole the sky

im sorry

okay
so no words can make
the night safe
not anymore
there is a sore
where my heart
and you used to be
both are empty
endlessly looking for
a stair case
to place its hopes on
so they may go up
and over the shoulders
that won't ever come back
yours
are just like they were in my dreams
and all the days before
I have been meaning
to tear down the city
because the streets won't lead me to you
and since the sidewalks
don't talk or sound like you
there is nothing more for me to do
than sit
in silence
in solitude
with full proof plan to lose myself
in the carpet
that can barely fit my regret
and I get
that my name left your lips
the same time this bomb hit
but I can't just give it all back
it isn't that simple
the moon must have made me a mad man
because I can't stand these stars
looking back at me
with their backwards belief that
less is more
so they go as far as they can
leaving what light they have
just beyond our hands
just like you
i cannot touch or feel
or reach you anymore
i am mostly broken
with a spare spot still hoping
for a miracle to hold it
the way we used to hold each other
so this cycle will perpetuate itself
and my cells would stick to yours
just how they used to
I am losing you
along with my air
and my hair that isn't thick enough
to block my thoughts
its just not that easy
leaving
when believing is the only thing
keeping
me
whole

i need these

alex murdoch- orange sky
pilate-fall down
beirut
otis redding- white christmas
explosions in the sky
angus and julia stone- big jet plane
matt costa- never looking back
six parts seven- in a late style of fire
coldplay-strawberry swing
freelance whales- 1st generator floor
morning benders- excuses
sam amidon- wedding dress