tjb

come on say something
anything
will stop these thoughts
from running back and forth
in a game of tag
where your name touches my mind
and then it shoots across my spine
and back into my eyes
I just need some words
something worth your time
I know its easier
to turn shoulders and chances away
but the science behind our love
does not exist yet
it can't
it is anything but simple
So please would you grip
my tumbling mind
with the hand that used to sleep with mine
You'd rather increase the gap
so the distance cannot be bridged between
our I miss you's but I wish you
would look into my eyes
and see that the boy behind them is no longer there
his mistakes are in the sour air
that sits somewher else
help me
melt into the man I need to be
by needing me back
please,
bring your voice back into my room
so I can water my soul
with your tongue and my walls
can stop waiting for somebody to call them worthy
I am worried
that the absence of my touch
will construct this belief
that we would be better off
without each other
but I would rather
smother my face with demons
than to believe there is any good in you leaving
darling
they say
when the dark is there
why not spark a flare
to stare the shadows down
I sound so pathetic in my plea
but I have said this before
so just let me say it again
my skin is merely pinned to my bones
when you are not here
to hold it up
so sturdy and strong
I was wrong
for tucking the past into an unprotected pocket
but I won't pretend
that the end of this all is good for us both
I won't
I can't
I will stand in the middle of the ocean
half-way between coast guards and swimming sharks
and proclaim my pursuit
in removing your doubt and fear
I feel,
it's the only thing I can do

waiting

the feeling is mutual
we just don't know it yet
it hangs
right between our fingers
but our palms are mouths
full of promises,
closed and kept to themselves
i wonder
if any of this will change
will the possibility of starting over
snap into reality
or are we really just alone
separated by an invisible window of uncertainty
certainly,
we can do more
than just wish
our thoughts would come off of the floor
and stand up
because we certainly won't
will we?
afraid the feeling might be a little too mutual we
put our mouth on mute
and it's too soon
to break the silence
so we wait
and I wonder
will we ever stop

aye che wa wa

I am sure the shade is much cooler
than the blazing sun
but I would rather run
into the cool breeze your legs leave
when they walk right past me
passively pulling my lungs
to the surface
because the air flow was getting worse
at every shoulder you should have turned in my direction
did you think,
you could lessen my desire by smiling?
my wishbones
exploded into a million arrows
all pointing towards you
only a fool would not follow
and not borrow the sun
so that he does not run out of time
I have run into mines
only to come out empty handed
but this time
I grabbed a diamond
the kind i could not find
anywhere else except in your eyes
god
must have been much more kind
when he had you in his mind
divine
is a bible shy of your holy water dimples
they are undiscovered temples
where my knees touch ground
the same way flowers do
flavoring the soil with precious roots
so full
of life
life is
full with
all that
you are
I wonder
how far could we run
before the sun sees
we stole the sky

im sorry

okay
so no words can make
the night safe
not anymore
there is a sore
where my heart
and you used to be
both are empty
endlessly looking for
a stair case
to place its hopes on
so they may go up
and over the shoulders
that won't ever come back
yours
are just like they were in my dreams
and all the days before
I have been meaning
to tear down the city
because the streets won't lead me to you
and since the sidewalks
don't talk or sound like you
there is nothing more for me to do
than sit
in silence
in solitude
with full proof plan to lose myself
in the carpet
that can barely fit my regret
and I get
that my name left your lips
the same time this bomb hit
but I can't just give it all back
it isn't that simple
the moon must have made me a mad man
because I can't stand these stars
looking back at me
with their backwards belief that
less is more
so they go as far as they can
leaving what light they have
just beyond our hands
just like you
i cannot touch or feel
or reach you anymore
i am mostly broken
with a spare spot still hoping
for a miracle to hold it
the way we used to hold each other
so this cycle will perpetuate itself
and my cells would stick to yours
just how they used to
I am losing you
along with my air
and my hair that isn't thick enough
to block my thoughts
its just not that easy
leaving
when believing is the only thing
keeping
me
whole

i need these

alex murdoch- orange sky
pilate-fall down
beirut
otis redding- white christmas
explosions in the sky
angus and julia stone- big jet plane
matt costa- never looking back
six parts seven- in a late style of fire
coldplay-strawberry swing
freelance whales- 1st generator floor
morning benders- excuses
sam amidon- wedding dress

my bed

my bed,
doesn't dream like it used to
the night,
must have fell onto its frame
deadly like regret,
i can't even sleep anymore
not without waking
in the middle of a world
where fortune doesn't fit in the atlas
the fastest prayers
get caught in the electric lines
nothing is quite like it used to
burdens become formalities
to tragedy,
trained with the same intensity of an assassin
it destroys
the deepest dreams without even asking
everything around us,
crashes down so easily
as if blood were not strong enough bricks
and sacrifice were as simple as smiling
the truth doesn't stand like it used to
perhaps because it has been broken
too many times to remember
a broken kite
surrenders its strings
because the wind treats it
like we treat the breeze
our toxic touch
clings to the air
it is impossible to rest like before
in this bed
that cringes instead of climbs
crumbles instead of binds
folds instead of diving head first
into the possibilities of progress
this mattress
molds its edges into a matchbox mayhem
where flames are on finger tips
and dreams drink cans of gasoline
to break free from the deserts they dig through
this bed doesn't dream like it used to
and my eyes,
wish they could sleep
but the night,
doesn't work like that it says
its been said,
the world will come to an end
when the sky opens like hands
and grabs the ground up
because walking has never suited
these people
my bed doesn't dream like it used to
I guess it's waiting for you to notice

sleep easy

when your shoulders said goodbye
the ground,
turned itself inside out
so the dirt could
look in you the eye
I stood
not sure if the pain
was pure or passive
you passed me by
like communion's cup,
the wine didn't touch my lips
I wasn't worthy anymore
in my bones,
there are just broken promises
so fighting
is like dying,
but I dug my own grave
and the sky?
all it ever does is weep
as if the stars were on its knees
see, they too were wrong
their patterns were too tricky to master
I couldn't follow their orbit
I am lost,
more now than ever, I am sure of it
you didn't care for my apology
it cracked,
like a painting no one ever looked at anymore
love doesn't fit like jeans,
the seams don't get worn out
but my pockets
were not deep enough
to blind
those demons whose search for blood
led them straight to my door
the evidence,
creaks under the floor board
can you hear me?
I am asking for your hand
in the form of a candle
but the wind behind your back
blew the blue flame black
the silence
stood like a tombstone,
with no flowers to hug
what was already gone
you,
said goodbye in the middle of the night
I must have been dreaming or dying
I can't tell the difference anymore