fear

afraid

and far away

we watch life pass

right in front of our eyes

unable to patch up the past

we live with holes

in our shoes

in our pockets

in our hearts

a fixated focus on forgetting

tells the mind memory is more than just remembering

it is feeling

it is reliving and sitting upright

at all times

walking

wears down worries

but when you are already worn

its hard to put up with the wind

this weather

has no end

it begins

and begins

and i wonder will it ever end

again we ask

questions we dont want the answers to

afraid

so we refuse to follow

any direction other than down

the sea level

has seen you

beneath its surface

submerged like a coral reef

catching waves of grief

all other options

are cop outs

surrounded by decisions

we pick none

just sit and stare at the sun

afraid

we keep watching

life and love

a leisure's gaze tells us to stay

behind the chained fence

afraid to change and actually mean it

i wonder when this will ever end

messy

your mind is messy
a maze
thoughts get lost
in themselves
thinking with no direction
is bad for the heart
its hard
to find your way back
when back
is bad
a past
you are trying to shake
instead of share with the world
like scars on elbows
there is nothing left to show
so we shout
hoping the sound
will make or break
im sorry
but it wont
i have tried similar tactics
no use
so we toss and turn
troubled youth
ruffling through
thoughts we wish didn't exist
i too am a mess
you just can't see it

show me your god

tell me more of your god

when you look for him does he look back

cause i can feel eyes on my forearms

watching my wrists water and i wonder

if the weight of its stare is the same as yours

in the back of my mind i am always searching

eyes open for a destination other than this earth

looking both ways

for one way

either way

tell me your story

write it on my eyelids so sleeping is like reading

and reading is just another pair of lungs breathing

so share your air with me

let your god be my god and guide me

take me back

all the way home

anything will do

you can find me underneath your tongue

right between unsaid words and unheard whispers

the glistening taste of my name

follows the flame of your throat as you swallow it whole

I haven’t seen your lips in a while

with a smile to seal my sore wounds

you carry me through battle grounds

a grain of salt in your pocket

to protect the blood from soiling the mood

how good it feels to be spoken

instead of being broken

like so many times before

I have gotten too used to these self inflicted bruises

the ones i never had a say in choosing

simply lost my voice by losing my way

and maybe thats why you never have anything to say

if not today,

then maybe the next

I love Alex Klunk

That’s all I have to say about that

day 5

either your mouth is sleeping
or you don't care enough
to leave any words
perhaps
none of this is worth it
but I am learning
that when hope
is on the other side of the world
it's going to take
more than a sturdy fist
to get the girl
I got it
it's locked in
but my thoughts
won't box themselves up
so they go everywhere
just trying to find where you are
but its hard
when you are so sure there
is nothing I can do to prove
that love is enough
but it is
if you just listen
to your heart beat's rhythm
then maybe it can get the message across

nothing seems to work
not my words
they lost their worth long ago
if my arms show anything
its that they are slipping out their sockets
and it's possible
that they could
burst into a summer evening
to even the odds of you leaving
with the sun
some say
we have stayed long enough
and maybe they're right
or maybe,
our hearts have tried leaving
but with more magic than reason
they came back
precise as fact
I want this to last
past what we thought possible

day 4

i think i'm hearing things
a cold whisper
perhaps i imagine your lips are in the air
there to speak to me
but on the other side of this town
not a sound is being made
between you
and between me
I am beating my chest with fists
and heavy wrists
they won't let you go
I don't want them to
but the silence reminds me
of previous days where darkness
carried into my dreams
and anything was impossible to be seen
so I folded my beliefs into my sheets
and stopped sleeping altogether
I don't know what I'm going to do
I carry you
to all the places I pass through
its dangerous
hanging onto you the way I do
but I have to
so say anything
but goodbye
that word melts my sky and
turns the ground into graveyards
I can't go into this soil
when my heart is still beating
blood still boiling
for you
all this time
i'm not fine i say
but the words pass you by
only to reach the silence
on the other side